I’m ferrying our motorhome across town the other day from my house to the place where we store it when this guy in his cool new high-rise pickup pulls up alongside me at a stop light.I mean this thing is spectacular! All black everything, about four stories tall, huge donuts on this baby and full daylight underneath. But, I’m cool with it because I’m looking down at him.
I can tell by the scowl he does not like that.That’s always a power trip for me because I’m usually looking up at these dudes. Power is what these jacked-up pickups are all about.
I can’t see him too well because the windows are over tinted to the max, but he seems to be in a hurry because he doesn’t bother to stop in the right place, just rolls right past me and stops in the crosswalk where he blocks two women and a guy in a wheelchair who now have to go around him, but he doesn’t care.I’m guessing he probably does this all the time just for kicks.
When the light changes, he goes pedal to the metal and leaves me in a massive cloud of black smoke. When I can see again, I drive on at the lawful speed like I always do and, well how do you like that? There he is, waiting for me at the next stop light again stopping in the crosswalk.
Ever notice how often this happens? This time when I pull up alongside he shoots me a dirty look and once again races away with the green light. You probably know what’s coming.
The same thing happens no fewer than seven times as we cross town together.Each time we stop, look at each other, he gives me a dirty look, then races out of sight at full throttle, but there I am right behind or alongside him at the next light. I’m trying hard to keep a straight face, but this time he catches me in his rear view mirror laughing at him.
Now he’s really pissed, decides he’s had enough of this smartass old dude and goes into road rage mode. This time he stays put through the green light so I can’t go. About now I’m beginning to wonder if he’s even old enough to drive, because he’s sure not acting like it.
I remember this trick from my stupid kid days in L.A. when we did dumb stuff like this. So, I’ve got one eye on him and the other on my mirrors to see how soon I’m going to get rear ended.
Then when the light goes yellow for us he flips me the fully extended, left arm out the window, single digit salute and smokes through the intersection nearly causing a four-car pileup. I can almost hear his demonic laughter as he disappears around the curve.
I’m thinking, “Well, this time he pulled it off.” But nope. The next time I see him, he and his cool ride are in the parking lot of a fast food joint and he’s getting an up close and personal earful from one really angry deputy sheriff.
Either this was one very pissed cop or he spotted something I didn’t see because this guy is in full-out, feet apart, hands on the hood, spread eagle arrest mode.
I give him a friendly wave on the way by but I don’t think he sees me.
This is not about learning to drive. This is about staying alive! See you next time . . . I hope!